One thing that I never do is read previous posts before writing a new one. I make no apologies if entries seem to be repeated, but I write as I feel on any particular day or as issues come to mind.
To have a stroke is one thing, but to face all the challenges that come with recovery can be daunting and almost like turning the clock back to childhood. Learning to walk, being able to use a different hand, getting dressed with one hand, tying a bow, learning to write with a different hand are just some of the daily tests. So it is almost as though we face a "double challenge" as we have to entirely re-think our daily life.
Some solutions are quite simple: re-positioning the kettle or ensuring that the vacuum cleaner is stored the correct way round for example, but I have found that it is better to think problems out to find the solution that will be the most economical on the physical state. So, I now have to exercise my thinking skills to really find alternate methods to what I once used to take for granted. I have recently learnt to tie a bow, but I have to concentrate really hard to achieve this, and so have to block out all that is going on around me.
I still even now, forget things that I have been told or can get facts incorrect, and therefore am not the best carrier of messages. I find this deeply frustrating but I have learnt the art of word association which can help - but not always.
Although modern day living entails the use of computers, as did my job, I have to admit that I am not the most skilled at using them. What previously, had been simple routine use of them, occasionally now seems complicated and this in turn leaves me with a feeling of confusion or helplessness. I have been known to e-mail friends for instructions when I need assistance.
Yesterday, my husband realised that we had lost a set of important keys and we spent all day, on and off, searching for them. I tried to help him by suggesting that he should re-trace his steps and we hunted from the loft to garage by way of the greenhouse - all to no avail. We did manage "to keep calm and carry on", but it was very unsatisfactory. This morning I put on my dressing gown and voila there they were in one of the pockets! Fortunately, we saw the funny side of things, but I still cannot remember handling the keys and have had to put behind me the upheaval that had been caused.
I soon learnt that you cannot control the uncontrollables and that whatever happens on any one day "just does" and start each day afresh.
Wednesday 24 August 2011
Saturday 20 August 2011
Festival of Entertainment & Visual Arts - FEVA
FEVA is our local annual festival of entertainment and visual arts. Every summer, for ten days a year, the town stages a wonderful array of shows and events.
There is something going on in every corner of the town: art exhibitions, theatre, live music, spoken word and restaurants & pubs take part with special evenings - Flavours of FEVA.
The town comes alive with many visitors and I know of one young lady, who comes especially from Ireland, to stay with her grandparents for its duration.
I look forward to this as it gives me the chance to meet old acquaintances and perhaps make new friends. I have been extremely fortunate this year as friends have rallied to offer lifts to venues and I have managed to go to one event each day, except the last one. This gives me a sense of being part of the community again and some normality.
Last year, I had to leave a concert early as I could not bear the loud noise and I am glad to say that this has not been the case this year, I take this as a positive sign of further improvement. However, I still have a way to go as even now when I have done too much I get a peculiar feeling in my head. Taking heed of this I opted to rest last night and today rather than take part in my final choices.
This year I take away the memories of going to two very diverse concerts, a jazz supper club with tapas, watched a play in a pub, listened to the Guardian's Northern Editor talking of the myths & reality of the North, visited an art exhibition in the Boathouse and listened to an outdoor concert of popular music with eight part harmonies.
Needless to say I look forward to next year's FEVA and hopefully being able to do more.
All in all a very satisfactory ten days - - and now it is only one week before our youngest son gets married.
/
There is something going on in every corner of the town: art exhibitions, theatre, live music, spoken word and restaurants & pubs take part with special evenings - Flavours of FEVA.
The town comes alive with many visitors and I know of one young lady, who comes especially from Ireland, to stay with her grandparents for its duration.
I look forward to this as it gives me the chance to meet old acquaintances and perhaps make new friends. I have been extremely fortunate this year as friends have rallied to offer lifts to venues and I have managed to go to one event each day, except the last one. This gives me a sense of being part of the community again and some normality.
Last year, I had to leave a concert early as I could not bear the loud noise and I am glad to say that this has not been the case this year, I take this as a positive sign of further improvement. However, I still have a way to go as even now when I have done too much I get a peculiar feeling in my head. Taking heed of this I opted to rest last night and today rather than take part in my final choices.
This year I take away the memories of going to two very diverse concerts, a jazz supper club with tapas, watched a play in a pub, listened to the Guardian's Northern Editor talking of the myths & reality of the North, visited an art exhibition in the Boathouse and listened to an outdoor concert of popular music with eight part harmonies.
Needless to say I look forward to next year's FEVA and hopefully being able to do more.
All in all a very satisfactory ten days - - and now it is only one week before our youngest son gets married.
/
Thursday 18 August 2011
Positives from Negatives
You all know by know that I remain focused on my recovery and however small the improvements are - well they are improvements.
I cannot always see these as I am too close, however, people who do not see me for long periods are now commenting on my much improved state. I continue to do exercises and try to do different things that I have not been able to for over two years. Recently, I found that I can now walk down a few steps one foot in front of the other. Another triumph, I cannot pretend that it is easy, but after the first few painful efforts it is beginning to get easier.
My hairdresser is now noticing the difference as I can now sit with my head backwards over the washbasin instead of having to stand. This is something that we all take for granted and a matter of routine, to me this is another example of my recovery.
I can now raise my arm from my side to my mouth, I am sure that my technique is not correct, but again another improvement. I am certain that my Physio will probably show me the technically correct way when I next see her.
As I strive to return to normality I do have severe pain on some days, and in particular the neck area, but to me this is little price to pay.
My walking continues to get better and the stamina levels are still not consistent, I have learnt a severe lesson and now rest when necessary instead of "carrying on to beat it". I was in bed last night at 5.30pm to rest, settled to sleep at 9.30 and slept through until 8am.
I am getting more confident about manner of affairs, but importantly still know my limitations At this moment in time I do not know how much of a recovery I will make, but I know that I will continue to give it my best shot to regain some purposeful use to my hand and arm.
It is of no purpose to say "before this I could do that" I am just thankful be able to do more things and turn a negative experience into a positive one.
I cannot always see these as I am too close, however, people who do not see me for long periods are now commenting on my much improved state. I continue to do exercises and try to do different things that I have not been able to for over two years. Recently, I found that I can now walk down a few steps one foot in front of the other. Another triumph, I cannot pretend that it is easy, but after the first few painful efforts it is beginning to get easier.
My hairdresser is now noticing the difference as I can now sit with my head backwards over the washbasin instead of having to stand. This is something that we all take for granted and a matter of routine, to me this is another example of my recovery.
I can now raise my arm from my side to my mouth, I am sure that my technique is not correct, but again another improvement. I am certain that my Physio will probably show me the technically correct way when I next see her.
As I strive to return to normality I do have severe pain on some days, and in particular the neck area, but to me this is little price to pay.
My walking continues to get better and the stamina levels are still not consistent, I have learnt a severe lesson and now rest when necessary instead of "carrying on to beat it". I was in bed last night at 5.30pm to rest, settled to sleep at 9.30 and slept through until 8am.
I am getting more confident about manner of affairs, but importantly still know my limitations At this moment in time I do not know how much of a recovery I will make, but I know that I will continue to give it my best shot to regain some purposeful use to my hand and arm.
It is of no purpose to say "before this I could do that" I am just thankful be able to do more things and turn a negative experience into a positive one.
Saturday 13 August 2011
Next Events
The main focus currently is that of our youngest son's wedding in two weeks time and five days later we are going on holiday.
I have several appointments booked - some medical and some "fun" ones in the run up to the wedding and also the town where I live will be host to the annual FEVA Festival: Festival of Entertainment and Visual Arts,
http://www.feva.info/ . I have tickets for many FEVA events but know that I must be very sensible and "pace" myself so I can enjoy this latest family celebration.
I have been very tired recently and have been going to bed to rest at about 8.30, I seem to fall asleep around 10.00pm and wake up around 9 - 10 hours later! We travelled back over The Pennines last Sunday to have a family get together for my Father-in-Law's 94th birthday, I found the travelling extremely tiring and the following day had to be a very quiet time for me. I have even been resting in the afternoons.
I continue to do my exercises with the help of my husband, but the damp and wet British summer weather does not help my situation. My fingers have recently started to curl under again and after all the hours of hard work that I have put in getting them straightened out this is of some concern. I try to tell myself that there will be a simple explanation to this and not to give it too much attention, but this is the one area of my recovery that I have been focusing on for some time.
I ask myself what am I not doing or have I overdone things and sometimes get a little despondent which is not usually like me. Some days I can be like a coiled spring and cannot put my mind to anything.
Hopefully, this will pass and I will be back on track once more endeavouring to regain some useful purpose to my hand and fingers.
I have several appointments booked - some medical and some "fun" ones in the run up to the wedding and also the town where I live will be host to the annual FEVA Festival: Festival of Entertainment and Visual Arts,
http://www.feva.info/ . I have tickets for many FEVA events but know that I must be very sensible and "pace" myself so I can enjoy this latest family celebration.
I have been very tired recently and have been going to bed to rest at about 8.30, I seem to fall asleep around 10.00pm and wake up around 9 - 10 hours later! We travelled back over The Pennines last Sunday to have a family get together for my Father-in-Law's 94th birthday, I found the travelling extremely tiring and the following day had to be a very quiet time for me. I have even been resting in the afternoons.
I continue to do my exercises with the help of my husband, but the damp and wet British summer weather does not help my situation. My fingers have recently started to curl under again and after all the hours of hard work that I have put in getting them straightened out this is of some concern. I try to tell myself that there will be a simple explanation to this and not to give it too much attention, but this is the one area of my recovery that I have been focusing on for some time.
I ask myself what am I not doing or have I overdone things and sometimes get a little despondent which is not usually like me. Some days I can be like a coiled spring and cannot put my mind to anything.
Hopefully, this will pass and I will be back on track once more endeavouring to regain some useful purpose to my hand and fingers.
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