Self Reliance

For those people who are reading the blog I am sure that you know me to 
be a very determined person. I have had a job for the last 16 years in a 
male dominated environment and occasionally it was a case of "stand up 
to be heard" and I guess that this goes some way to explain my "firm but 
fair" attitude. I always thought of myself as being and determined.

I am, and have been, resolute in the belief that I will beat the stroke and 
get better. Progress isn't even - there are still dark days, fed up days, and days of sheer 
frustration. The worst part of having the stroke has been losing my self-reliance.

How frustrating to be able to sweep up but not be able to manage to 
put the waste in the dustpan and not being able to take the vacuum cleaner 
upstairs; how frustrating to find the wheelie bin the wrong way round 
meaning that I cannot use it as I cannot open the lid. The list of "frustrations" is quite wide and varied: on bad days still needing help to be dressed and undressed, needing help to get in and out of the bath, simple domestic chores that I now cannot do and not being able to go out when I would like to.

All the simple things that I had taken for granted can be obstacles that 
now have to be overcome.

One of the most testing changes to my life, at present, is still having 
to rely on others so much. I am used to being independent and doing 
things when I wanted to, but now I often need a lot of help for what many people take for granted as simple tasks.