I have never given in to this temporary state and have kept working away to try and get better.
I am extremely fortunate that I still receive 'physio and have built up a good relationship with the lady who has been treating me post-discharge. We laugh together and occasionally I get overwhelmed and get tearful.
I work hard at my homework with my husband who has been exceptionally supportive, but when he was working it became difficult as I would be tired and un-responsive when we attempted the exercise routine in the evening.
Tiredness is an on-going problem and I have come to realise that I have to pace myself. On a good day it is very tempting to go mad and try and do all manner of things and then I suffer for the next two days, and must rest.
Two or three months ago I had tremendous pain in my legs at night, I tried to sleep with a pillow underneath them, took painkillers and when nothing seemed to cure this convinced myself that I had a thrombosis.
(Every little thing that seems "not the norm" is a worry until I find the logical explanation) I had been over-doing things but not heeding the physio's advice of doing leg stretches: standing on the bottom stair step with only the toes on the step and then rocking the foot upwards and downwards to create a stretch to leg muscles.
For every new thing that I try I have to find a way of relaxing that joint/muscle etc. afterwards.
I try to do a little daily walking but if I overdo it my legs totally seize up which means that I literally cannot put one foot in front of the other.
If I get mentally tired it causes the inability to think straight and at times I can experience a "knocking" sensation in my head.
It can also cause my speech to be slightly slurred and then I get a little upset when people cannot understand me. Instead of asking me to explain they will look to the person I am with - - more irritation!
I used to start conversations:- "I am sorry, but since my stroke . . .". I don't do it as much these days, people must be aware that we work hard to combat these difficulties, and now I will make a joke of it.
I remember Thora Hird playing a stroke victim in Alan Bennett's "Lost for Words" and how if she couldn't remember a word would try word association - believe me it does work!
Sunday, 6 March 2011
Clothes and Shoes
Initial days out seemed to invariably mean a trip to Matalan where I could purchase bigger clothes inexpensively.
I increased a full dress size but it could be two depending on the make of clothes. I didn't like the idea of being a full two sizes bigger but had to accept the fact.
I bought what I thought to be a rather trendy short length duffel coat, something I told myself would be very useful when using my wheelchair. All seemed ok but I soon began to realise what a mistake I had made. It was heavy and without a lining, this made it very difficult to put on and then have to swing it over my shoulder was nigh impossible. I had to put my bad arm in first and then lay the rest of it over the back of the settee to manoeuvre it! The only good thing about the coat was its colour!!
I continued to add to my wardrobe but was very careful in my purchases after that.
Clothes had to be easy to get on and off, particularly in a "need to get to the loo quickly" scenario. Leggings with trendy tops seemed to be the answer unless I had the occasion to be glammed up, which was a rare occurrence.
Chosen wisely, a few clothes could create many different looks, but I always wanted to be up to date if I could: Tee shirts with cardigans for summer and with chunky knits for winter
It is hard to comprehend but my feet have decreased a half size and now was the real great need to get flat, shoes that would give support. My right foot can roll and I have a "foot up splint". This aids my walking and means that I can place my foot straight. I wear it around the house with trainers and whenever I can outside.
I now shop at a few well chosen places and have got to know the assistants who are only too pleased to offer assistance and advice where it is needed and occasionally let me take things home to try on rather than get all flustered in changing rooms. To have the confidence and value people's advice makes everything a far more pleasurable experience.
I quickly began to realise that I must get clothes and shoes that I could manage by myself: No belts, zips or laces and a coat with a hood. Yet something else to consider on what used to be a pleasurable experience, so natural and not problematic.
I increased a full dress size but it could be two depending on the make of clothes. I didn't like the idea of being a full two sizes bigger but had to accept the fact.
I bought what I thought to be a rather trendy short length duffel coat, something I told myself would be very useful when using my wheelchair. All seemed ok but I soon began to realise what a mistake I had made. It was heavy and without a lining, this made it very difficult to put on and then have to swing it over my shoulder was nigh impossible. I had to put my bad arm in first and then lay the rest of it over the back of the settee to manoeuvre it! The only good thing about the coat was its colour!!
I continued to add to my wardrobe but was very careful in my purchases after that.
Clothes had to be easy to get on and off, particularly in a "need to get to the loo quickly" scenario. Leggings with trendy tops seemed to be the answer unless I had the occasion to be glammed up, which was a rare occurrence.
Chosen wisely, a few clothes could create many different looks, but I always wanted to be up to date if I could: Tee shirts with cardigans for summer and with chunky knits for winter
It is hard to comprehend but my feet have decreased a half size and now was the real great need to get flat, shoes that would give support. My right foot can roll and I have a "foot up splint". This aids my walking and means that I can place my foot straight. I wear it around the house with trainers and whenever I can outside.
I now shop at a few well chosen places and have got to know the assistants who are only too pleased to offer assistance and advice where it is needed and occasionally let me take things home to try on rather than get all flustered in changing rooms. To have the confidence and value people's advice makes everything a far more pleasurable experience.
I quickly began to realise that I must get clothes and shoes that I could manage by myself: No belts, zips or laces and a coat with a hood. Yet something else to consider on what used to be a pleasurable experience, so natural and not problematic.
Tolerence, Intolerance and Fit for Purpose
I have never considered myself as disabled - but admit to it being more of a temporary state.
I would like to think that this and my sheer determination and doggedness to combat this wretched state has got me to where I am today, 20 months afterwards.
It has been a huge learning curve for all of us and this is what this next post tries to address.
I can now empathise with the less abled and see all manner of things from a different perspective. Disabled toilets are my big passion and I could quite easily give an outburst if I see the use of them being abused and am not stopped! Has anyone ever thought that the disabled do not have to have something outwardly physical wrong with them. I find it all quite infuriating when normal people will just "nip into these toilets" to avoid a queue. At a recent visit to a local M & S I saw a lady trying to use the disabled loo and my how she looked quite put out when she found it to be occupied, so she then went into the mother and child facility.
I still find busy places with lots of people hard to handle. Lots of people all coming towards me can throw me off balance so I literally have to stop dead in my tracks. Again, at the same shopping trip two ladies who were deep in conversation almost walked into me, but even worse they were oblivious to the fact. It took a gentleman who was patiently waiting for his wife to notice this incident.
I want to be normal and to so must try to do things for myself. Getting dressed, making food, cleaning, bits of shopping, pushing a supermarket trolley, pegging out clothes, writing letters to name a few. I want to and need to do these things to not only aid recovery but to feel "fit for purpose". People around me obviously want to help and I hope that they are not offended when I decline their offer. I have to understand that folk have my best interests at heart and that if they assisted it would be more speedy, but to coin a well known phrase: "I didn't get where I am today by sitting back and letting others do for me". I do not do it to offend or upset but to keep up the road to recovery and normality.
Before the stroke I had at times, what could be a quite demanding job and was involved in one or two local societies and I have mentioned previously, along with a small nucleus of folk did a lot of fund-raising for the local theatre. Suddenly to go from "all to nothing" has been very hard - not to have a finger in all the pies! I tried to keep my interest with the theatre, but this too is very demanding and so it has been with tremendous regret that I have had to take a back seat.
What now? Well I have recently had a "taster" session with the WRVS trolley at the hospital, but have had to concede defeat. I simply haven't the stamina to walk the distance and could not manage all the thinking skills that are required.One day I will give something back to the hospital that has looked after me and my family so well.
I am currently writing this blog and another which gives a insight into my childhood memories: http://woodcroftfolk.blogspot.com/
This, although takes a long time to write, is giving me a sense of purpose and real achievement.
I would like to think that this and my sheer determination and doggedness to combat this wretched state has got me to where I am today, 20 months afterwards.
It has been a huge learning curve for all of us and this is what this next post tries to address.
I can now empathise with the less abled and see all manner of things from a different perspective. Disabled toilets are my big passion and I could quite easily give an outburst if I see the use of them being abused and am not stopped! Has anyone ever thought that the disabled do not have to have something outwardly physical wrong with them. I find it all quite infuriating when normal people will just "nip into these toilets" to avoid a queue. At a recent visit to a local M & S I saw a lady trying to use the disabled loo and my how she looked quite put out when she found it to be occupied, so she then went into the mother and child facility.
I still find busy places with lots of people hard to handle. Lots of people all coming towards me can throw me off balance so I literally have to stop dead in my tracks. Again, at the same shopping trip two ladies who were deep in conversation almost walked into me, but even worse they were oblivious to the fact. It took a gentleman who was patiently waiting for his wife to notice this incident.
I want to be normal and to so must try to do things for myself. Getting dressed, making food, cleaning, bits of shopping, pushing a supermarket trolley, pegging out clothes, writing letters to name a few. I want to and need to do these things to not only aid recovery but to feel "fit for purpose". People around me obviously want to help and I hope that they are not offended when I decline their offer. I have to understand that folk have my best interests at heart and that if they assisted it would be more speedy, but to coin a well known phrase: "I didn't get where I am today by sitting back and letting others do for me". I do not do it to offend or upset but to keep up the road to recovery and normality.
Before the stroke I had at times, what could be a quite demanding job and was involved in one or two local societies and I have mentioned previously, along with a small nucleus of folk did a lot of fund-raising for the local theatre. Suddenly to go from "all to nothing" has been very hard - not to have a finger in all the pies! I tried to keep my interest with the theatre, but this too is very demanding and so it has been with tremendous regret that I have had to take a back seat.
What now? Well I have recently had a "taster" session with the WRVS trolley at the hospital, but have had to concede defeat. I simply haven't the stamina to walk the distance and could not manage all the thinking skills that are required.One day I will give something back to the hospital that has looked after me and my family so well.
I am currently writing this blog and another which gives a insight into my childhood memories: http://woodcroftfolk.blogspot.com/
This, although takes a long time to write, is giving me a sense of purpose and real achievement.
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
2010 in Pictures
 |
2010
February
My first trip abroad.
Berlin via Amsterdam.
Thank you Hullah Tours
 |
April 3rd
I was humbled to receive a specially minted Knaresborough Maundy Coin to celebrate the 800th giving of the first coins in 1210 by King John in Knaresborough.
My citation was for "Services to Knaresborough Players and the Frazer Theatre including spearheadingPhase 1 of the development of the project, and continued fund raising"
October 10th
Celebrating our eldest son's wedding.
A perfect week-end
 |
New Years Eve Celebrating the New Year with a 1920's party. |
Sunday, 6 February 2011
Birthdays and Christmas
Birthdays at our house fall in late Autumn. The year that this happened, my father would be 91 and my husband 60.
I had planned a party for the 60th, but this was cancelled. My family came home for the week-end for low key celebrations. What a change - no partying!!!
My father had moved into a residential home during the spring and this meant that he was now well cared for. I had visited him every 2/3 weeks at "our house" prior to this move. It didn't stop me feeling as though I should see him more often, but I now couldn't drive and relied heavily on my husband.
Week-ends for us was a catch up of things that were left during the week and to prepare for the following week.
So we didn't get across as often as I would have wanted or liked.
We asked our family to make alternate arrangements for Christmas which they duly did. It felt peculiar not to have anyone around but it was the first and only time that this occurred.
My husband and I travelled to the residential home to spend time AND Christmas lunch with my father, sister and her husband. A complete but very welcome change for us.
I had planned a party for the 60th, but this was cancelled. My family came home for the week-end for low key celebrations. What a change - no partying!!!
My father had moved into a residential home during the spring and this meant that he was now well cared for. I had visited him every 2/3 weeks at "our house" prior to this move. It didn't stop me feeling as though I should see him more often, but I now couldn't drive and relied heavily on my husband.
Week-ends for us was a catch up of things that were left during the week and to prepare for the following week.
So we didn't get across as often as I would have wanted or liked.
We asked our family to make alternate arrangements for Christmas which they duly did. It felt peculiar not to have anyone around but it was the first and only time that this occurred.
My husband and I travelled to the residential home to spend time AND Christmas lunch with my father, sister and her husband. A complete but very welcome change for us.
Adjustments to be made
The first few months continued to be one of development .
Eventually, I could manage the noise levels in M & S and the like, but could not manage crowds and people walking in front and around me.
Our families live across the Pennines, some 50 miles away and this was a journey of winding roads. We didn't get across as often as we would have liked, but when we did I found that I couldn't manage this journey, one that we had done countless times over the previous 21 years.
The twisty roads and the car headlights all seemed to affect my head and so we had to take the straight road, the M62!! Was there no end to what was affected?
A very good friend invited me to her evening wedding reception which would be "a grand affair", sadly we declined as at that time I couldn't face the crowds and noise.
Eventually, after persevering, I found that I could travel upwards on an escalator, downwards came much later.
The only shower that I could safely manage was in the loft, so we re-fitted our house bathroom to incorporate a shower cubicle.
Steps at the back of the house proved challenging and so these too have been altered.
Minor and major adjustments were made to allow me to live an ordinary life.
Eventually, I could manage the noise levels in M & S and the like, but could not manage crowds and people walking in front and around me.
Our families live across the Pennines, some 50 miles away and this was a journey of winding roads. We didn't get across as often as we would have liked, but when we did I found that I couldn't manage this journey, one that we had done countless times over the previous 21 years.
The twisty roads and the car headlights all seemed to affect my head and so we had to take the straight road, the M62!! Was there no end to what was affected?
A very good friend invited me to her evening wedding reception which would be "a grand affair", sadly we declined as at that time I couldn't face the crowds and noise.
Eventually, after persevering, I found that I could travel upwards on an escalator, downwards came much later.
The only shower that I could safely manage was in the loft, so we re-fitted our house bathroom to incorporate a shower cubicle.
Steps at the back of the house proved challenging and so these too have been altered.
Minor and major adjustments were made to allow me to live an ordinary life.
Initial Weeks at Home
My physio at hospital began on 24th September 2009.
This is still "work in progress" and the physio, to me, seemed to be systematically opening up muscles to get them working again. I would do work at home in between to try and keep the momentum going.
My teeth had also been affected as had my taste. I had two visits to the dentist to make sure that all was in order. Thankfully no problems were identified, but even now I am careful to chose from a menu wisely, instead of having what I perhaps would really like.
I had regular checks with my G.P. for the first two or three months. This also served as the re-assurance that I sought.
My husband and family would take me to places for a change of scenery. We firstly tried Marks and Spencer's in Harrogate. Lunchtimes there seemed to be very busy as well as being a creche for new mums. I found the noise suffocating and asked to leave. Stores seemed so busy and overpowering and I couldn't handle this, mmm this had been the norm previously.
Eventually, it was time for me to be alone at home. (Family returned home and husband now back at work.) My husband would oversee my washing and dressing and leave a sandwich for my lunch and everything to hand. Friends would call around and I also had all their phone numbers. We tried to cover for every eventuality.
Simple things like re-positioning the kettle made a huge difference.
The routine that was now the daily norm was vastly different. We would plan meals and my husband would try and prepare tea - courtesy of the slow-cooker. He seemed to accept all of this as the norm: uncomplaining and just accepted his new roles.
I have recently heard a stroke described as a punctuation mark in life - yes - a full stop. Perhaps that is too harsh, maybe it's more of a comma, but for a very long pause.
This is still "work in progress" and the physio, to me, seemed to be systematically opening up muscles to get them working again. I would do work at home in between to try and keep the momentum going.
My teeth had also been affected as had my taste. I had two visits to the dentist to make sure that all was in order. Thankfully no problems were identified, but even now I am careful to chose from a menu wisely, instead of having what I perhaps would really like.
I had regular checks with my G.P. for the first two or three months. This also served as the re-assurance that I sought.
My husband and family would take me to places for a change of scenery. We firstly tried Marks and Spencer's in Harrogate. Lunchtimes there seemed to be very busy as well as being a creche for new mums. I found the noise suffocating and asked to leave. Stores seemed so busy and overpowering and I couldn't handle this, mmm this had been the norm previously.
Eventually, it was time for me to be alone at home. (Family returned home and husband now back at work.) My husband would oversee my washing and dressing and leave a sandwich for my lunch and everything to hand. Friends would call around and I also had all their phone numbers. We tried to cover for every eventuality.
Simple things like re-positioning the kettle made a huge difference.
The routine that was now the daily norm was vastly different. We would plan meals and my husband would try and prepare tea - courtesy of the slow-cooker. He seemed to accept all of this as the norm: uncomplaining and just accepted his new roles.
I have recently heard a stroke described as a punctuation mark in life - yes - a full stop. Perhaps that is too harsh, maybe it's more of a comma, but for a very long pause.
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